that damn Atlantic City

Yarg. Called Eb on a whim only to find that he was on 287 on his way to AC. And what of my promise to not go down for a while? Gone with the wind I tell 'ya. Me being the demanding friend that I am immediately yelled, "Come get me!!!" I had my first experience at the poker tables. Fun! I think the black jack tables are a thing of the past. We got there at 9:30pm and left at 6 am as agreed since I had to go to work at 9 am today. Lost.

There's hope

Well I received replies to the queries that I committed to making a couple of posts ago. The EPA has confirmed that the positions they posted are already filled. So that's that. The private company however has tentatively scheduled me for an interview the week of June 7th. I hope I get it. I hope I get it.

If I do get it would conflict with the burning man trip since it will be a short intense period at the end of August. I'm cool with that. I'll go another year. I'd rather have the internship.

And were off!!

Went out last night with Laura and Tim. It was good to see them. I felt lighter than I have in a long time. The end of the seclusion is near. I'm almost done. I'm looking forward to seeing them more often over the summer. Speaking of which, Sounds of the City is back up starting this Thursday. Here's the summer schedule.

That car was on fire

Eb and I were trying to find Sandy Hook yesterday and managed to miss the exit for it. As we continued down the GSP we started to hit traffic and we could see a funnel of smoke coming from somewhere in the distance. As we approached we saw that the smoke and traffic were coming from a car at the side of the road that had burst into flames. Eb said it was a sign of something.



Since we had gone that far we just meandered our way through the northern part of south jersey. We found a carnival with a gospel choir in Asbury Park.



We drove around in a general northward direction but in no rush to get home. What a great way to kick off the summer. Thanks John!

Sad summer prospects.

Blah. I still haven't heard from the EPA re: summer internship. It looks like that won't happen. My fellow intern from last summer snagged a position under a different supervisor. I am completely envious. But I shouldn't give up too easily. I commit to doing the following

1. Writing/calling my contact at the EPA to follow up one last time
2. Writing my other prospect for summer internship and pursue more aggressively

It seems that I am growing tired or annoyed with the restaurant and need a change of pace. I have been told that I have become unbearable to work for/with. That's life. I think overall I'm fair and lately the management team has collectively had to come down pretty hard on the staff. They are all afflicted with the once or twice a year virus that makes them become complacent or filled with a sense of entitlement. It's pretty irritating. I'm tired of working with kids that can't seem to comprehend that this is a job. They show up on time and work hard in exchange for the money they always complain they don't have. Oh! I just saw/heard it. The them versus me mentality that never leads to good things. I'll have to work that one out.

I need a break. I feel it deep in my bones. I'm tired of here. I'm tired of now. I'm due for a long excursion with myself. I'm considering going on another rafting trip with the Rivermen. As much as I love that 8 hour drive to West Virginia I can't be putting miles on my car right now. But I've done that. I want to do/go something/somewhere new. I deeply regretted not going to Maine with my sisters last summer. Maybe I'll go there.

In the meantime I'm trying to figure out how to propagate the fabulous roses that are in the front garden. Here's a night shot of the rose garden. It really doesn't do it justice.

The woman who lived in this house for 20+ years before us must have loved them very much.

Where I'll be

For the duration of myfast I will probably not be posting in here much. Go the the previouse link or the link toMY FAST for day to day accounts.

The fasting blog is UP!

All fast related information is posted here.

that damn electricity

I was in the process of posting last night when the deluge hit. Alas, that post is lost as I am too lazy to recall and re-write. Here's the gist. There was an incredible storm last night that turned everything wacky from electronics to people. When it first started to hammer down I tried to catch the lighting but only manged to catch these humungous drops.


Today was an odd one. The moods were foul all around. It had been a hectic and tiring weekend at the restaurant since we had over extended ourselves by scheduling 3 charity events on one weekend. There were 2 on Saturday, a benefit for the families of marines sent overseas and something called Edison Day. Today it was a breast cancer charity walk. It was also the weekend before a huge new menu roll out. I spent the entire beautiful weekend inside the restaurant aquiring new blisters and aches. The outbound crew exhausted themselves with long days that started out at 6am.

When they got back to the restaurant this afternoon they showed me the top of the box truck wich had been used to cart around all the food and equipment which had been borrowed from one of our suppliers. On the top of the truck was the evidence of what happens when you don't make the clearance of a bridge. Needless to say, they were ready to relax a little. What better way to relax in 80 degree weather than tossing around a couple of water balloons? Apparantly there are better ways. One of the guys tossed a balloon as high as he could just to see the big splat. It landed on one of the bartenders' windshield. I don't know if it was the heat or the pressure or what but when that balloon hit that glass the damn windshield shattered. It was unbelievable.

Meanwhile inside the restuarant the front of the house was painfully slow which is exactly when people don't feel like working. Two employees were admonished for laziness. One of them quit. Excellent. Then I had to call around to the area restaurants to try and peddle cases and cases of buns that had been over ordered and unused from the events. In the midst of the phone calls I realize I had been given half assed information and end up having to call people back to clarify the situation.

I can't wait to start my fast tomorrow. I look forward to being so much calmer when the focus of life shifts as the fast changes me. This will be my second fast. I will be creating a new blog to document the event.

I chipped my tooth on a pork shish kebob

5 a.m. well into the first of two consecutive all nighters I felt my energy waning so I decided to refuel with the leftovers from Mom Day. I was happily munching away when snap! crackle! and pop! I was suddenly chewing on a bit of tooth (bottom front). So I've been playing with it all day. It feels weird and really really sharp.

Yes. I swallowed the piece of tooth and kept on eating.

it’s magic
those moments
when it’s just you and thunder.
before the first drop falls
smell the air change
then softly
a drop on a petal
a bending of a leaf

My head hurts

It's amazing how my memory plays tricks on me. I just spent the evening having dinner with an old friend and his brother and his brother's girlfriend. I haven't seen this man in about 2 years but we have half hearted e-mails going back and forth. When I first saw him all I could think of was "Wow. You're not blonde" And he was in fact, not blonde. But that's how I remember him!!!! I have very specific pictures of him in my head and he is blonde! Oh, and I told him and he denies ever being blonde. Even now, I feel as if I've been tricked as though this reality was somehow wrong. The entire evening, this is all I could think about. Anyway, I drank too much red wine. I thought it would be ok but now I have a pounding headache that I am trying to cure with massive amounts of water. This is why I switched to white wine. Yuck.

Onwards.
My mother was very sweet yesterday. She spent the entire day cooking for my sister. Mind you, my sisters and I have never considered our mother to be particularly maternal but she has always come through. As the live in sister I got the goods too. Yum. Here's her fab chicken porridge. Note the spoon in the bottom left, at the ready.


Soon I will learn how to resize these pictures.

Rosie's Home!

Yay! We can all rest a little easier. And to commemorate the moment we had the ceremonial cutting of the hospital bracelets.



And now begins her 4-6 week recovery, during which she will be mostly home bound. I wonder how long its going to take for her to get cabin fever.

This is going to be a rough seven days. Projects need finishing. Papers needs writing. Finals needs taking. Sleeps needs having. Friends from abroads needs meals eating or coffees drinking. I have not slept in 36 hours!

I live for this shit.

Procrastinator

If I am good at nothing else in my life I am very good at procrastinating. I can draw out a task until it becomes unbearable to breath, even. So I should be finishing up this/these projects but, instead, here I am figuring out how to imbed pictures. It was only suppose to be an hour break, because, in reality, I was actually working. If I was a super-hero I would be PROCRASTINATOR. Fear not good citizens. PROCRASTINATOR is here. Able to banish crime with a single wave of apathy. Rest easy friend. PROCRASTINATOR is here. Able to smote those fiends, one of these days.

Alright, pulling back from that tangent now. Lest ye' thinks the procrastinating was in vain here is a picture of my cat fiending for cigs.


Also! Rosie should be home from the hospital tomorrow. Wheeee!!!

Hurray! Hurray!

Things are much better now. Told Mother the news last night and she was fine as soon as she found out that her daughter was going to be alright. Rosie should be out of the hospital tomorrow or Monday at the latest. After Tuesday pm she has shown dramatic improvements and now it is just a matter of letting her bowels return to their normal functions. In other words once she poops, she’s outa’ there.

This experience is a good reminder that life can be reduced to nothing more than waste matter trying to get out. If you or anything gets in the way, all hell will, indeed, break loose and it will bang on your innards until it all becomes unbearable and you let it out. Next to this, everything else is irrelevant.

My mother reminded us that our aunt also had an extreme case of endometriosis. In her case half of her reproductive organs were removed along with the large cyst that they found. So, there have been a couple moments of “Everybody’s up to date with their smears right?” and a general nodding and mumbling of agreement from the masses ensues, whereas I look down and ignore the question since the last pap smear, and first, I had was over two years ago and it came up negative or positive, whichever one means that something is wrong. Since I haven’t had health insurance in four years I did not follow up.

So far this having no insurance has been a calculated risk and the wee bits of medical attention I have needed I have been able to handle financially. But, I suppose that this little game has a risk factor which increases exponentially as I get older and continue to smoke and live a sedentary lifestyle etc. Me hopes, that nothing happens between now and spring/summer 2005 when I hope I have a job with health benefits.

On a different note:
Today was absolutely gorgeous! Since Rosie is able to walk around a little bit now the family was able to spend some time outside in a little nook that served as a hospital courtyard. If this is any indication of the coming months then it should be a lovely summer. So, without further ado:

HURRAY HURRAY THE FIRST OF MAY. OUTDOOR FUCKING STARTS TODAY!!!

Still love ya’ James.