the shit didn't hit the fan

I had to do an awful thing this past Saturday but it was not as awful as the awful thing Cheto had to do.

One of my servers came up to me to tell me that someone from one of her tables just came back from the men's bathroom and told her that there was "stuff" on the walls. When she told me I just hoped and prayed that it wasn't what I feared. So, I sent one of my hosts to do a bathroom check and sure enough "stuff" was exactly what I feared it was.

Speculation flew among the staff as to exactly how "stuff" could be get that high on the walls. Some of the discussions went like this:

"Maybe he had to go really bad and by the time he got to pulling his pants down it just got the best of him"
"So...it projectiled out of him and made a 90 degree turn up the wall?!?"

"Were there hand marks?"

"Did anybody see a guy come out of there covered in shit?"

While all this was going on I had the awful task of telling Cheto, our dishwasher, to put on gloves, get the mop and bucket and NO I MEAN IT PUT ON GLOVES!, and go to the bathroom and clean it up.

You feel pretty low asking another human being to go clean up after somebody's errant shit. You feel lower still when you realize your glad it wasn't you who had to do the cleaning up.